Mastering the Art of Dating Someone Who Struggles with Depression: 5 Essential Tips

Mastering the Art of Dating Someone Who Struggles with Depression: 5 Essential Tips

Dating someone with depression can be challenging, especially if you’re not familiar with the symptoms and behaviors associated with this common mental health condition. In the U.S., about 7% of adults, or roughly 17 million people, experience depression. Given how widespread the condition is, here’s what you should know about maintaining a committed relationship with someone who has depression.

### Empathy: The Key to Understanding

When you’re dating someone with depression or anxiety, it can be confusing at first, particularly if you’re unfamiliar with these conditions. Each has its unique symptoms, but they can also overlap. While we often lean towards sympathy, empathy is much more effective in truly understanding what your partner is going through.

Sympathy tends to offer well-meaning but somewhat superficial comforts like, “It’ll get better” or “It could be worse.” While sympathetic remarks aim to provide a positive spin, empathy involves really putting yourself in your partner’s shoes. Try to imagine going through your day with a constant cloud of sadness and despair hanging over you. How much harder would daily tasks become?

### Stay Informed

Keeping up-to-date with research and treatments for depression can help you better understand your partner’s condition. Knowing the symptoms and behaviors will prepare you for the ups and downs, such as sudden mood swings or depressive episodes. Educating yourself not only helps you support your partner but also contributes to broader societal awareness and reduced stigma around mental health.

### Be Aware of Severe Symptoms

When dating someone with depression, it’s crucial to watch for extreme symptoms like self-harm, suicidal thoughts, or threats. If you notice these signs, seek professional help immediately. Contrary to some misconceptions, people who talk about suicide should always be taken seriously. If your partner talks about harming themselves, don’t leave them alone. Contact loved ones, mental health professionals, or the suicide hotline. In urgent situations, call 9-1-1 to ensure they get immediate care.

### Don’t Take It Personally

Depression can cause behaviors like withdrawal from social activities, anger, and irritability. It’s important not to take these actions personally. Depression causes a kind of “mental fog” that can cloud a person’s judgment and behavior. During depressive episodes, they might not realize what they’re doing or saying, which can lead to hurtful comments or actions.

### Take Care of Yourself

Supporting someone with depression can be emotionally draining. It’s okay to need a break to recharge. Reaching out to friends, family, or mental health professionals for support is not a betrayal. Remember, you can’t help your partner effectively if you’re struggling with your own mental health.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, asking someone else to step in temporarily can be incredibly helpful. You might also consider contacting a counselor directly to discuss your concerns and get advice on how to help your partner seek professional treatment. While you can’t schedule appointments for them, you can facilitate the process by making a counselor aware of the situation.

In summary, empathy, understanding, and self-care are essential when dating someone with depression. Know when to seek help for them and for yourself to maintain a healthy and supportive relationship.